Dating in your 30s is different, man. It’s like the Wild West out here. I went on a date the other day, and honestly — f*ck me — this stage of life comes with a whole new set of challenges.
Straight to the Point
We’re barely an hour into the conversation and she’s telling me she wants to date for no longer than a year, get married, and start a family. And honestly, fair enough. Time is ticking, and no one wants to waste it anymore.
That’s the thing about dating in your 30s. It’s not the easy-breezy “see where it goes” vibe from your early 20s. It’s more like, “Are we compatible? Do you want kids? Are we aligned?” Initial attraction? Cool. But once that’s out the way, it’s straight into the heavy questions. You’re basically interviewing each other for a joint future.
Dating Apps and the White Screen Love Story
Right now, I’m only using dating platforms — trying to find “my person” through a white screen. It’s weird, init? Swiping, messaging, getting a convo going with more than one person at once. And obviously, you know full well they’re doing the same.
You get a decent convo flowing with someone, you agree to meet, and you’re hoping the in-person vibe matches the chat and the pictures. But it’s mad because sometimes all it takes is one small thing — a comment, a bad habit — and your mind’s already halfway out the door. You’re clocking it, thinking, “Yeah, this probably isn’t it… but let me be polite, innit.”
At the end of the date, sometimes both of you know it’s not going anywhere. Sometimes only one of you does. Either way, it’s part of the madness.
Did My Date Go Well?
Honestly? It was alright. Bit of chemistry, but not fireworks. Some awkward silences, but not deal-breakers. I told myself I’d maybe give it a second date — just to see. Because real talk, instant sparks are rare at this stage.
But when I woke up the next day, reality slapped me a little bit. I realised I do want that instant connection. I’m not saying it’s gotta be a Netflix love story, but I want that natural click. That feeling where conversation flows without thinking.
And yeah, even though I know that “spark” fades eventually in relationships and the real work begins — I still want it at the start. I think we all do.
What’s the Lesson Here?
If dating in your 30s has taught me anything, it’s this: don’t settle just to tick boxes. Yeah, the pressure’s different now — marriage, kids, building a future — but rushing into something just because time’s moving doesn’t guarantee happiness.
You’ve gotta stay honest with yourself. If that initial spark ain’t there, or if deep down something feels off, trust it. You’re not 21 anymore. You know yourself better now. You know what energy feels right.
So moving forward, date with intention — but don’t force it. Let it be real, let it be mutual, and don’t be afraid to walk away if it’s not clicking.
And whether that spark hits straight away or grows slow, one thing’s for sure: you can’t force it.
If you’re thinking deeper about the kind of love you actually want, check out The Kind of Love I Want: A London Train Epiphany. Trust me — it hits different.
You’re not running out of time. You’re just getting closer to finding the real thing.
So take your time. Move smart. Don’t rush something real for something quick. The right person will feel easy, not forced — and you’ll know when it’s meant for you.
